dad

i'm kinda think that whats happen to me.

my dad hospitalized back in may. it was bad. he suddenly did not be able to breath the day he should be discharge. they got to help him with ventilator and send him back to ICU for further and close observation. it broke my heart. 

i was sad for a full month. literally not doing anything right. cancel my graduation cause i don't have the energy to do anything. i'm struggling to get back for months. its hard to pull myself together.

i think i'm still struggling up until now.

almost five months and i don't think i will get better anytime soon. it was hard for me, i mean look at the impact of my dad illness. i just can't imagine how it will affect me if he's gone. i definitely will lose my shit.

i wanna stop this. i need to live.